Bourbon
by lilAzIaNpride24
Summary: She didn't deserve him. Not in a million lifetimes would she ever come close to deserving someone like him. And it seemed that the universe agreed.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first venture into TBBT fanfiction, so please forgive any OOCness. This little idea came up while re-binge watching The Big Bang Theory. :D **

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_The Big Bang Theory_**** nor any of the characters.**

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><p>If someone had told her when she was 16 that she would end up fantasizing about a geek like Leonard and had intense feelings for someone like him, she would've laughed in their faces and thought they were insane.<p>

Up until the point where she had met Leonard, she had fantasized about men that were tall, handsome, rich, tan, and muscular. But that didn't mean to say that Leonard wasn't handsome or had no physical prowess. No, it just meant that Leonard wasn't the type she would usually go for. For God sake's, he was an experimental physicist and a doctor! Well, not a _doctor _doctor, but he was still a doctor!

She just meant to say that he wasn't her type. All the guys she had dated or slept with were jerks, complete assholes, had little mental capability, or a combination thereof – even David Underhill.

Leonard was sweet and caring and gentle. He was naïve and genuine. He was funny and incredibly intelligent. Essentially, he was everything a girl ever dreamed of or hoped for in a guy and then some – he was everything she strived to find in her various sexual endeavors.

With that being said, she felt that he was just too good for her. She didn't deserve him. Not in a million lifetimes would she ever come close to deserving someone like him. And it seemed that the universe agreed.

Currently, she was sitting on her couch – alone – thinking about her ex-boyfriend while he was lying in bed with another woman.

_Priya._

Penny had no right to be jealous. _She_ had been the one to break up with him. _She_ had been the one to break his heart. She had no more say in Leonard's life. If it were up to her, she would've imprisoned herself for hurting him like that.

She guesses her punishment from the universe is watching him fall in love with another woman and being forced out of his life.

She huffed and fell back onto her couch, watching her reflection off the pitch black screen of her television.

She wasn't used to this. She wasn't used to being hung over on a guy. Sure, there was Kurt, but she didn't love him. Looking back on her life, she never really _truly_ loved anyone until she met Leonard. She just couldn't voice it.

Oh, irony is thy name is a major bitch.

She sighs and turns to lie on her back. She should've _never_ broken up with him. She had lost the best thing that had ever happened to her and said best thing was_ currently in bed with another woman!_

"UGH!" she huffed.

She got up and contemplated wine. Instead, she took out a bottle of bourbon.

As she poured her drink into a glass, her mind raced back to Leonard and Priya.

Her 16 year old self would have been shunning her for being so overwhelmed by someone like Leonard.

She sighed once more as she plopped on her couch, drink in hand.

Priya may be more intellectually suited for him than she could ever be, but she was better for him. She could see how Priya was trying to change him. And she hated her even more for that. Leonard didn't need to be changed. He was perfect. Even with his asthma, and his insecurities, and his lactose intolerance, and his geekiness, and his allergies. He was perfect.

_'God, she sounded like him now.' _

She desperately wished that she could turn back time and change what had happened. It was only after their break up when she laid in bed alone did she finally realize what a huge mistake she had made. But she had convinced herself it was the best choice and Will Wheaton's story about being led on for two years just kept ringing through her head.

Maybe if she had acted sooner, she would be cuddled against him in his bed instead of her. Maybe she would've become jealous and Leonard would've held her and told her that he loved her and nobody would ever change that. Maybe she would've told him she loved him. Just maybe…

A knock on her door shook her out of her reverie. She waited for the "Penny" to come after it, but it didn't. So she assumed it wasn't Sheldon. Maybe it was Bernadette. Or Amy. These days, they were the only people she hung out with; they were her only connection to Leonard.

As she got up to go to her door, another hasty knock sounded. Whoever the hell it was, they sounded extremely impatient.

She opened her door to find someone she was _definitely _not expecting.

"Leonard?"

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are much appreciated! (But no hate, please. If you want to pick apart a story, go pick apart your own. )**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 is here! Quick two-shot. :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_The Big Bang Theory_**** nor any of the characters.**

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><p><em>She opened her door to find someone she was <em>definitely_ not expecting. _

_"Leonard?"_

"Hey, Penny." She looked over his face. He seemed tired. _And_ stressed.

"You okay, Leonard?" She asked as she moved aside as a gesture for him to come in.

"No." He stated bluntly as he plopped down onto her couch with a thud.

Slowly, she closed the door and she found herself suddenly wishing for his problem to be related to Priya.

"What's wrong?" She sat beside him as she watched him steal the slightly filled glass and knock back the Bourbon with one shot.

He turned towards her suddenly. "Did you think I was good enough for you when we were dating?" It seemed like he had had a few drinks before he had stumbled across her apartment.

"More than enough." She responded honestly. She hadn't known what she was even saying until after she had said them.

Leonard huffed sardonically and shock washed over her face. This was so uncharacteristic of him. Even when he was drunk. When he was drunk, Leonard had a bit more confidence and suave. He had never been this cynical.

There was a quiet pause between them before Penny sidled up next to him, put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and asked, "What happened?"

"She changed me, Penny." He paused for a second. "She was desperately trying to change who I was and I thought she just loved me. I foolishly though that she…" His voice cracked and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"She cheated on me," he blurted out.

"What?!" She shouted in reply.

He nodded sadly. "With her lawyer ex-boyfriend. I thought that she really liked me. I thought that we were great. I really wanted to believe that this whole long distance thing would work out. I know technically, I was thinking about cheating on her too, but I stopped it before it got too far and…" He cut off his ramblings with a sigh and poured himself another drink.

"Long distance?" She asked curiously.

He gave a nod and explained, "She moved back to India." He gave a shrug as he gulped down the rest of his drink.

"Leonard…" Her voice was sad and low and he knew exactly what was going to come next.

He shook his head. "Drink, Penny." He handed her the glass. "Drink, today. Tomorrow, we can talk. I just want to forget."

Penny looked at him for a bit and gave a nod. "Tomorrow," she said as she poured herself a drink. _Tomorrow, indeed._

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated! ;)**


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